maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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