I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
i now understand why vodka
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
soo... how was my night?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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