true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
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