I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
