Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
