He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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