they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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