I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I need a hoe opinion
go on
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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