I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Randomize
