i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
