I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
