We're like a lot better than the average bears
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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