I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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