There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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