you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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