it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
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