That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
