Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
