i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Randomize