Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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