We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
