I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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