Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
