PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
