If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
