Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
