Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize