I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
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