I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
