Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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