apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
