At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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