"it" just moved
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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