I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
