please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
