i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
