On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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