I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I could fuck to npr.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
wow bdsm is so cute
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
