let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
