Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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