The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
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