I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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