drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
