If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
