she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
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