I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
