You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Congratulations! We have a period
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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