Small penises have feelings too.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
there is puke in my bra ... again
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
