He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
