i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
wanna go halves on a baby?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
