She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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