I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Randomize
