Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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