theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
