We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
