She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
