we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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