I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
