So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
