whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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