thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
